If you look in the dictionary it will tell you that the definition of friendship is a state of being friends; friendly relation, or attachment, to a person, or between persons; affection arising from mutual esteem and good will; friendliness; amity; good will. That all sounds nice, but it doesn’t cover the fact that a true friendship is a relationship that can survive the test of time and remain unconditional.
Friendship can mean different things to different people. Fro some people it is simply the trust that someone will not hurt you. For others it might be unconditional love or just normal companionship. Whatever your own definition is, friendship is often considered as a mutual and agreeable relationship between two individuals, and that’s a good thing, as it has been said that a person who finds a true friend has found a priceless treasure.
Friendship is rarely one-sided though, as it takes two individuals to negotiate the boundaries in a relationship and a friendship will not survive very long if only one person is making the effort to sustain the relationship without any help or recognition from other person. Because it takes both positive and negative experiences to define a personality, it is essential to build your friendships with people who are compatible with you on both an emotional and psychological basis.
The reason for this post today is my recent struggles with people, some I thought were my friends and some possible friends... We all know the relationships are hard, and it seems a bit like that with friendships too. I have experienced a number of 'friendships", where I was the only one maintaining and making contact. I organised bbqs, dinners, coffee catch ups, camping, movies etc... . After a while I felt used, and not important to my 'friends'. It seemed all fine but I missed that input from another person. What kind of true friends don't make any attempt to contact me? I'm not talking about every day, we are all busy and have our lives and responsibilities (I get that) but how come can you share and post 10 times a day on Facebook but you have no 5 minutes to message and ask how am I going? Is it too much to ask? I don't think so...
So i decided to stop messaging my 'friends' and see what happens... Guess what? Majority just left it and no contact was made for months .. As long as I kept it going it was all sweet,, but unfortunately one sided friendships don't last very long... It takes two to tango.. I felt so disappointed , and really gutted. People, who I thought cared about me really cared about themselves only. It hurts, and it hurts a lot.. But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger... I built resilience, and learn to keep the people, for whom I am important, and who care for me as much as I care for them. My circle of friends shrank significantly in the last year, but I feel so much happier to have around true friends....
I say NO to people, who only message or call me when they need something, I say NO to people who don't give anything back, I say NO to energy eaters.
We can't choose our family but luckily we can choose our friends... Look around your circle to see who are the people you socialize with? Are they worth being in your life? Or maybe you are the one neglecting the friendships... maybe it's time to give a little bit more to people you care about?
I'm not saying I"m a perfect friend.. I'm not.. But I try my best to be active in my friend's life as much as I can.
I compare the friendship to a relationship - if you are not working on it, it will die. It is a commitment and it takes a lot to maintain a good friendships but the rewards are so worth it!!!
'In the cookie of life, friends are the chocolate chips'.
'Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart - Eleanor Roosevelt
'A good friend is like a four-leaf clover: hard to find and lucky to have' - Irish Proverb
'Be slow to fall into friendship; but when thou art in, continue firm & constant '- Socrates
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